What is Marriage Then?

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” —Matthew 19:4-6

The world focuses on marriage as an extension of the love a man and a woman feel for each other; a union based on feeling. Marriage is so much more…

Please click here to continue reading: Taft Avenue Community Church: Orange, CA > What is Marriage Then?.

Oh, How He Loves Us! | The Marriage Metaphor

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” –Ephesians 5:22-27

“Jesus Christ is the focal point of history and the reference point for all our obedience. Husbands find in Christ a model for sacrificial, loving, strong, tender headship. Wives find the church’s submission to Christ, a model for intelligent, gracious, trusting, respectful submission…these roles are meant to be an expression of the unchanging gospel dynamics of Christ’s relationship to the church and the church’s relationship to him,” –Gospel Transformation Bible.

Marriage is a union, a joining, two become one, cleaved together, a promise, a covenant, a bond, representational of Christ and the church; a living, breathing, dynamic reflection of grace extended to us mercifully via spilled blood, nailed to the cross, a debt cancelled…

Please continue reading here: Taft Avenue Community Church: Orange, CA > Oh, How He Loves Us! | The Marriage Metaphor.

What Is Marriage, Then?|Marriage Defined

“In Ephesians 5, Paul shows us that even on earth Jesus did not use his power to oppress us but sacrificed everything to bring us into union with him. And this takes us beyond the philosophical to the personal and the practical. If God had the gospel of Jesus’s salvation in mind when he established marriage, then marriage only “works” to the degree that approximates the pattern of God’s self-giving love in Christ. What Paul is saying not only answers the objection that marriage is oppressive and restrictive, but it also addresses the sense that the demands of marriage are overwhelming. There is so much to do that we don’t know where to start. Start here, Paul says. Do for your spouse what God did for you in Jesus, and the rest will follow.

This is the secret—that the gospel of Jesus and marriage explain one another. That when God invented marriage, he already had the saving work of Jesus in mind.”–Tim Keller

MARRIAGE DEFINED

It is no secret that marriages are under attack in our world.  This is not surprising since marriage is a visible picture of Christ and His Church, what better place for the forces of hell to aim their fiery darts.  In response to this our church tries to have at least 2 marriage conferences per year (with hopes of having more).  As such I have been tasked with using several resources and putting together a curriculum for the conference.

Our very first session is What is Marriage?  In this session we attempt to come together on a theology of marriage.  We begin by defining marriage.  As far as I am aware this definition is original with me.  I would like to share it and then expound on it a bit—hopefully for your benefit.

Marriage is a binding covenant created by God between one man and one woman for our holiness, for our joy, as a picture of the gospel to spread the glory of God.

If I pick this definition apart I can come up with seven individual statements (and these are used as teaching points for the first session).

A Binding Covenant.  Covenant’s are a big deal to God.  Breaking covenants is a big deal to God.  To see how big of a deal covenants are consider Genesis 15.  The Lord walks through a host of animals that are ripped asunder and essentially says, “If I break my covenant let what is done to these animals be done to me”.  Covenants are a big deal.

Created by God.  If humans created marriage then we could make the rules.  But marriage is a binding covenant that is created by God, as such He makes the rules.  God created your marriage, so away with this silly talk of having “married the wrong person”.

Between one man and one woman.  The two shall become one.  This means breaking away from parents, past relationships, future relationships, and any other lovers.  This also goes against any arguments for homosexuality rightly being called marriage.

For our holiness.  Marriage is one of the means that God has ordained to sanctify us.  God is not satisfied with us merely having a “good” marriage. God wants to use our marriage to conform us more and more into the image of Christ. God has a rescue plan for your marriage. His goal is not simply to rescue your marriage. His goal is to use your marriage to rescue you.

For our joy.  Our joy increases when we, in holiness, fight for the joy of another.  Marriage can be extremely joyful.  Just read Song of Solomon.  Furthermore, if marriage increases holiness it will also increase our joy in God.

As a picture of the gospel.  Your marriage reflects Christ and His church.  It was created by God to be a visible picture for everyone to see the love between Christ and His Bride.

To spread the glory of God.  The purpose of God for humanity is to enjoy His grace and extend His glory.  Marriage is no different.  He uses marriages to rip out of our heart sin and unbelief. He uses marriage to further our joy. But he also uses marriage to create children, and to raise and nurture children in godly homes.

Your marriage has purpose.  It has meaning.  Don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t stop fighting for your marriage.  Know that God is fighting for your marriage as well.  Have hope in him and keep holding on.

Enjoy your marriage.  God is using it to display His greatness.  Rejoice that the Lord is using the union of two sinners to display His incomparable greatness and Trinitarian love.  Marriage is sweet.  Savor it.  Taste and see that the Lord is good.

Excerpted from:Marriage Defined – Borrowed Light and What is Marriage, Then?|The Gospel Coalition

 

Everything Family|For All Seasons of Life

Starting Sunday September 8 TACC will be focusing on all things related to family life. From dating to marriage, parenting to grandparenting, each season of life has its own unique challenges and benefits. Here at TACC we want to come along side one another as the family of God to help each other in the various stages of family life and seek biblical teaching to guide us.

Join TACC Sundays for 

10:30 AM Sermon Topics

• 9/8 Manhood
• 9/15 Womanhood
• 9/22 Dating
• 9/29 Marriage
• 10/6 Parenting
• 10/13 Singleness
• 10/20 Divorce
• 10/27 Homosexuality

6:00 PM Seminars*

• 9/8 Tips for Parenting Preschoolers
• 9/15 Honor and Respect
• 9/22 Safe House: How to Respond to Emergency Situations in the Home
• 9/29 Discipline
• 10/6 Lying, Cheating, Biting, and Stealing
• 10/13 Siblings
• 10/20 Parenting Teenagers

*Childcare will be provided during all seminars

+Additional seminars will be held at Children’s House 9/10, 10/1, 10/8, and 10/22 for families unable to attend Sundays

For more information click here to access TACC website

 

Soul Mates | Soulful Connections

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” –Ephesians 5:25-33

Soul Mates

How to become more intimate with God and your spouse.

As newlyweds, one of the first times my husband, Tim, led me in prayer aloud, I made the awful mistake of laughing at him when he stumbled over his words! Many years into our marriage, Tim still remembers how uncomfortable I made him feel.

Most couples have difficulty developing an intimate spiritual life not just in the early stages of marriage, but throughout their lives. Yet there’s nothing more significant than consistently and intentionally coming together before God to know him better and to serve him more fully. Unfortunately, according to author Neil Clark Warren, only 10 to 15 percent of couples really enjoys true intimate spirituality.

The remainder of this article can be viewed here: Soul Mates | Today’s Christian Woman.

This link offers further exploration of spiritual intimacy among married couples: Soulful Connections | Today’s Christian Woman.

Praying for my husband – from head to toe

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Colossians 4:2

Tomorrow is Father’s Day, a day traditionally set aside to reflect on and celebrate fathers, husbands, uncles, sons, and grandpas. It is often a day when we who are wives go all out showering our spouse with gifts, affirmation, and affection. What if in addition we took the time to quietly and meaningfully lift them up everyday through prayer?

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,” 2 Timothy 3:16

Dr. Don Whitney author of “Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life” suggests, “Pray through scripture and let it suggest, inform, and shape your prayer.” Praying scripture can help our minds to stay focused and encourage scripture meditation.

The following excerpt provides “head to toe” prayer framework with accompanying scripture:

I know marriage can be hard, and trusting someone to lead when there are things you struggle with together is really, really hard. But I also know God uses us in powerful ways to love our men like He does – unconditionally.

One of the best ways we can love our husbands is to pray for them.

Years ago I heard a concept about praying for our husbands – from head to toe.  So, today I wanted to share some verses and prayers that fit with that concept:

Head

“Father, I ask that You would continually renew my husband’s mind, resulting in a transformed life. Help him bring every thought into captivity to Christ to make it obedient to You. Give him a greater understanding of Your Word. Help him to think on things that are pure and right and worthy of praise.” (Psalm 119:15, Rom 12:2, 2 Cor.10:5)

Eyes

“Lord, keep opening my husband’s eyes to deep spiritual truths. Help him to see things as You see them. Please guard his eyes from looking at worthless things. ” (Psalm 119:18, Psalm 119:37)

Ears

“Father, let my husband hear Your voice clearly. Help him to recognize your voice with certainty. Protect him from listening to anyone who is not seeking and walking with You. Help him not to be affected negatively by what others say and to discern between good and evil. Give him the ability to determine what is of You and what is not.” (Is 30:21, 1 Kings 3:9, 1 John 4:1)

Mouth

“Help my husband to speak the truth in love. Help him to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Give him the couraage to lovingly confront when necessary. Let the words he speaks be Yours, not his own. Help him speak words that bring grace and truth to the hearers. I also pray that you will help him to grow in his ability and desire to communicate with you and others.” (Psalm 19:14, 119:13, 41:3; Eph 4:15, 4:29; James 1:19)

Heart

“Give my husband a heart that seeks passionately after You. Teach him to guard his heart with diligence. Help him deal with anything in his heart that is not pleasing to You. Create in him a pure heart. Enable him to lead our family with integrity.” (Psalm 78:72, 119:10-11; Prov 4:23; 1  3:13)

Hands

“Lord, I pray that everything my husband does would be done with his whole heart, serving You rather than man. I pray that You will also help him to increase his skills and his abilities. Bless everything he puts his hands to.” (Psalm 24:3-4, Col 3:23)

Feet

I pray my husband would love Your Words and walk in Your ways. I pray He would be to walk in a manner that is worthy of You, bearing fruit in every good work. Jesus show him how to creatively share your truth with our kids as he does life with them each day. Father, when he walks through the valley of the shadow of doubt and difficulties, I pray he would fear no evil because He knows that you are with him. (Deut 6:7, 8:6, Col 1:10, Psalm 23:4)

Let’s look for ways to build our husbands up – by giving them encouraging words and the gift of prayer – covering them from head to toe!

The article in its entirety can be viewed here: Praying for my husband – from head to toe.

 

Praying for My Husband | CBMW

Do you pray for your husband or about him? Do you ask God to make changes to him or effect an outcome that would really be for your benefit? Oftentimes we bring marital disagreements to God with the intent of changing our spouse when it is really ourselves that need our hearts adjusted.

“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!” Psalm 66:18-20

Praying for My Husband

It was dinner time and I stood in the kitchen cutting up vegetables for a salad. Feeling bone weary, I prayed in my heart, “God, please bring my husband home from work on time tonight.” I stood in front of the sink to rinse off a cucumber and heard a loud crash coming from my boy’s room, followed by the sound of crying. Sighing, I turned off the water and headed for their room, still praying that my husband would hurry home. Not too long ago, I realized that most of my prayers for my husband centered on me and my needs. They stemmed more from my selfishness.  I prayed he would come home on time, prayed he would get the bonus we hoped for, and prayed he would watch the kids so I could sleep in. I even prayed that God would change all the things that frustrated me about him.

It was in reading Paul’s prayers to the churches in Ephesus, Colossians and Philippi where I learned the heart of prayer. Paul’s prayers centered on the spiritual growth of the people he was writing to.  For example, “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe” Ephesians 1:17-19. Paul essentially prayed through the gospel. He prayed for the power of the gospel to change and transform the believers he wrote to. While Paul certainly prayed for God’s provision and for other practical needs, the core and foundation of his prayers for others centered on their walk with Christ.

I want to pray for my husband the way Paul prayed for the New Testament churches. I want to pray for the gospel to be at work in my husband’s heart each day. I want to pray for the gospel to be the lens through which he views all of life. And I want him to be strengthened and empowered by the truths of gospel as he lives out God’s calling for him.Praying for the gospel to be at work in my husband’s heart and life is transforming, not only for him, but for me as well. I learn to let go of trying to change things about my husband and trust in God to do the changing He desires. Focusing on the gospel in my prayers changes the posture of my heart from relying on my strength to resting in the power of God’s grace. As I pray for the gospel to be at work in my husband’s heart, I am also reminded of how much I too need the gospel each and every day. It also reminds me that all of life is a gift of grace and that prayer is the entrance into receiving that grace.

The article in its entirety can be viewed here: Praying for My Husband | CBMW | The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

One Woman’s Wrestling Match with Submission, Part II » CBMW

One Woman’s Wrestling Match with Submission, Part II

Vivian Hyatt – October 20, 2011

Distinctive Helping

I had to stop here, and consider.  In bringing Eve along as Adam’s helper, God was giving her her own dignity and her own distinction.  Being, with the man, equally created in the image of God, she was yet other, a woman, and she had a realm in which to offer her particular contribution to this glorious, as yet unfallen world, as a woman and a wife.

How was Eve to help her husband?  God had already given Adam his work, and now to the pair of them, a grandiose calling.  The two of them together were to work at subduing the earth.  That, to my astonishment even now, leaps off the page.  How in the world were they supposed to ‘subdue the earth’?  In part, at least, by ruling-together- over ‘every living thing that moves on the earth.’

This is where Eve’s distinction as helper comes in.  It took some careful looking, but the juxtaposition of two major verses told me something about one way Eve was to be a helper.  God gave to Adam-before Eve was created-the privilege and the prohibition: eat everything you want, except for the fruit of that very significant tree.  Following the prohibition, God says, in a conversation within the Trinity, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper…’  None of the animals was suitable for this task, so God made Eve.

Adam’s need to obey and Adam’s need for a helper are directly juxtaposed in these verses.

Does it strike you, as it did me, that God knew the man would need help in obeying?  This is before the fall, remember.  Being given a prohibition implies a choice.  Unfallen man was not to be left alone in this quite serious business of obeying God.  He would need help in ‘subduing’ the earth, even a perfect one.  Likewise, he would need help in subduing his own nature, with its God-given free will, in order to be able to obey God.

Click here to read the rest of the article:  CBMW » One Woman’s Wrestling Match with Submission, Part II.

One Woman’s Wrestling Match with Submission, Part I » CBMW

One Woman’s Wrestling Match with Submission, Part I

Vivian Hyatt – October 18, 2011

[Editor’s note: Vivian Hyatt and her husband Trent are missionaries to Eastern Europe and Russia with Campus Crusade for Christ.]

I was blind-sided by the ‘gender wars.’  After all, I knew what the Bible said.  Or thought I did.

My attitudes toward marriage were shaped in the context of growing up in what I would (much) later understand to be a traditional Christian home. I watched my father lead in church and in our family.  I took it as the nature of things that my mother was submissive to him, though I never doubted her strength as a person. Neither did I see him ‘lord’ it over her.  In fact, they had, observable to us kids, an affectionate and close relationship, one we admired and wanted to emulate.  Not surprisingly, then, I desired a husband with those same – what I considered to be biblical – beliefs.  When he came along, we set out to have a traditional Christian marriage with headship (his) and submission (mine) fully in place.

After all, we knew what the Bible said.

But then, well into our marriage, my confidence in ‘what the Bible said’ began to be somewhat eroded by voices within and without the traditional church. Views on women’s roles were changing, the voices said. Books questioning the traditional gender roles were put in my hand. Conversations more and more frequently centered on ‘those passages’ which could now be explained by the cultural situation at the time the New Testament was written.  Our society has moved on, the voices maintained, and so should the Church.  Women were strong and gifted and those gifts were going to waste!  The submission of the wife amounted to inequality and could not, therefore, be biblical.

Had I Missed Something?

Click here to read the rest of the Article:  CBMW » One Woman’s Wrestling Match with Submission, Part I.

Get on the Same Spiritual Page as Your Spouse

Get on the Same Spiritual Page as Your Spouse

Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg, America’s Family Coach
Thursday, October 06, 2011

It’s a bond that can seem mysterious and elusive – but it’s one that is essential to have the marriage that God intended for you. So today we have a question for you: Are you and your mate on the same page spiritually?

It’s relatively easy to understand the emotional intimacy that creates a heart-to-heart bond as well as the physical intimacy that brings a couple together body-to-body. But every couple also needs soul-to-soul closeness. If you want to enjoy the deepest level of connection, you need to develop spiritual intimacy in your relationship.

Bonding spiritually can be a puzzling area for husbands and wives. Even if you both set a goal to grow together spiritually, you may have difficulty deciding how to get there. And if only one of you wants to pursue spiritual depth in your relationship, you will face additional struggles.

But here’s what you need to know: Spiritual intimacy occurs when you as husband and wife surrender your lives and relationship to the Lord. You grow together spiritually when you live out your marriage relationship according to God’s ways and aim to please him in all things.

The sad truth is, most of our world doesn’t understand spiritual intimacy in marriage. And sadly, many Christian couples haven’t grasped this profound truth either. But when husbands and wives truly begin to understand the significance of a marriage of three, their relationships begin to flourish.

Click here to read the rest of this article.

Related articles

• Melissa Norris: Change Yourself, Change Your Marriage (connecttowommin.wordpress.com)