Melissa Norris: Change Yourself, Change Your Marriage

4 Oct
Melissa Norris: Change Yourself, Change Your Marriage
Posted on Tuesday, September 6, 2011 at 5:00am
Has your spouse ever hurt your feelings? If you’ve been married any time at all, I’m willing to bet at least a few times. Perhaps it was inadvertently, a passing comment that stuck with you throughout the day.

Or it might have been on purpose in the middle of an argument. Whatever the case, there will come a time when your spouse wounds you.

Our natural response is to wound back. To say something in our defense or to lash out and hurt them. Sometimes this happens long after the initial comment. Or sometimes, we chose to ignore the comment and not say anything. But we replay it through our minds while we’re washing dishes or cooking dinner.

Have you ever prayed to God to change your spouse?

Can you see my hand raised? During twelve years of marriage I’ve cried out to God many times to change my husband. To make him into the man I want and need him to be.

Do you see anything wrong with this prayer? Trust me, there’s a lot.

  • First, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every want or need. That’s God’s job. Let God fulfill that roll and you’ll experience quite a bit less disappointment.
  • Secondly, consider your own part in the situation, from your spouse’s point of view. Ask God to change you; to change your heart and your responses.

You’ll be amazed at when you stop focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse and what you can change (because you is the only thing that you can change) you’re outlook and feelings will improve. God will begin to work through you in the situation.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10

Ask God to change your heart. Focus on becoming more like Him and you will see a new steadfast spirit in your relationship with your spouse.

Melissa K. Norris is a Christian fiction author. Come join her here for a 7 Day Back to School Prayer Challenge.


One Response to “Melissa Norris: Change Yourself, Change Your Marriage”


  1. Get on the Same Spiritual Page as Your Spouse « Connect to Women's Ministry @TACC - October 10, 2011

    […] Melissa Norris: Change Yourself, Change Your Marriage ( Share this:EmailPrintFacebookTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

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